Can't Hurry Love

"If you're not still thinking about it a year later, why do you ignore me and avoid me every chance you get?"

Beth was seriously tempted to just run again.

The Beckford place was huge, at least matching Big Sky Ranch for its size. But while she could probably get around at home with a blindfold on, she couldn't do it here.

Plenty of lighting shone out here on the patio where table and chairs were dotted around, though they were all empty at the moment. She and Josh were alone out here, and the music from inside could still be heard at a lower volume. But beyond the patio was darkness and tempting as it was, she wasn't a complete idiot. Although, to be fair, her reaction to the man who'd followed her would suggest otherwise. He wasn't wrong, either. That was the kicker. She'd spent twelve months angry with a guy who hadn't called after spending approximately three hours in her company.

That made her beyond pathetic. It made her borderline crazy.

Everyone who knew Beth knew about her adoration for all things romantic, but even she could admit that she was overreacting when it came to Josh Larson. It had just seemed so special to her. So different. So real. But it hadn't been. And she was done making a fool of herself about it.

Straightening her shoulders, she turned to face him, knowing that, when she did, her heart would flutter, and her toes would curl. It was inevitable. And pathetic.

"Maybe I just don't like you all that much," she sniped.

His crooked grin should come with a health warning. It was grossly unfair. He didn't deserve it.

"Maybe," he acknowledged. "Or maybe it's because you know it was more than just a couple of drinks."

He stepped closer, and she had to stand her ground. There was no way she was going to budge and let him think his proximity was affecting her. "Maybe it's because we also had a couple of pretty explosive kisses."

Beth's heart thumped wildly at his words. The memory of his demanding lips against her own shot through her mind, and her whole body shuddered. This was the type of thing she'd read about. The type of thing she wanted so desperately. But he doesn't.

The voice of reason, quiet though it might be, reared its head and gave Beth the strength to arch her brow in an imitation of Brooke's coolness from earlier. "Did we?" she asked, trying to make herself sound haughty like Zoe. Instead, she sounded like a frog with tonsilitis, but she ploughed on valiantly anyway. His grin was proof enough that he wasn't fooled. She was about as sophisticated as the back of a horse, and they both knew it.

"You don't remember?"

His voice dropped as he stepped closer to her, and she was suddenly surrounded by him: the scent of... the height of him... the breadth of those shoulders...

She tilted her head back, trapped in his ice blue gaze. But there was nothing icy about it. They blazed with a fire that scorched her.

"N-no," she stammered, hating that her voice was giving her away.

"Then we should jog your memory."

His smile was sin itself and before Beth could get her brain to engage, he reached out and pulled her closer.

Oh Lord, I'm in trouble, was her last sensible thought before his lips descended, and her entire body went up in smoke.

"Damn, but he'd forgotten how good she tasted. How right she felt in his arms.

Josh had had no intentions of kissing Beth when he'd followed her out here.

But it had been a year since she'd let him get this close, and he was as tempted as ever by her.

Maybe it was sheer masculine ego that had made him ignore all the reasons he had for not kissing her again after that first night. Made him want to prove to her that their night together had been unforgettable. That his kiss was worth remembering.

But the second she opened her mouth beneath his on a sigh, sending desire shooting through him, he forgot all the reasons for kissing her and concentrated instead on just enjoying the experience.

He felt her arms reach up and tangle in his hair, and he pulled her body against his own, groaning into her mouth at the contact.

Josh could feel his self-control slipping from his fingers. Something that hadn't happened since he'd been a randy teenager.

What was it about the tiny, blond ball of sass in his arms that made him forget all the reasons that this was a bad idea?

He dragged his lips from her own and pressed them to the pulse fluttering wildly in her neck. "Come home with me?" he whispered, his voice hoarse with lust.

"I-I"

She was going to refuse, and Josh was surprised by how desperately he wanted her not to.

"Beth." He reached down and pulled her even closer, watching as her eyes darkened with a desire to match his own. "You want this. I want this." He kissed her again before mumbling against her lips. "Just for tonight. Please." The second the words left his mouth; Josh knew he'd messed up.

Her whole body went rigid, and she pulled her mouth from his own. The fire was still in her eyes, but it wasn't desire putting it there. It was sheer, unadulterated rage.

"Just for tonight?" she repeated through clenched teeth. "Are you kidding me, Josh?"

He could lie. He could make promises that he wouldn't- and couldn't keep.

But Josh knew the pain that lies, and empty promises made, and even if he hadn't, the idea of tricking her into his bed nauseated him. "Beth, I'm sorry, I'm just "

She cut him off, raising her hand as if to ward off the words. "Don't," she bit out, "don't even bother."

Her laugh was brittle.

"I'm so stupid. I actually thought-"

He wanted to ask what she thought, but he valued his life too much to risk it.

"We clearly want different things," she said. "I want you," he answered quickly, sincerely.

"And I want more than a one-night stand," she answered back, just as quickly. "So, let's just pretend this didn't happen. It should be easy enough for you. You've had practice." He winced as her words hit their mark.

He knew what she thought he was, the type of man he was coming across as: a player who wanted one thing from her, and that was it. Someone who wanted a roll in the sack with no obligation.

How to tell her that that wasn't true? That he could find that easily among the women of Rocky Valley who were up for a good, short-term time. That if he had it in him to offer more, she was the one he'd happily offer it to. Josh had the urge to defend himself, but he stayed quiet.

Because what was there to say?

I wish I could be what you want. But I can't.

It didn't stop him wanting her though. Selfish bastard that he clearly was. Maybe Elaine had been right about him. "I'm sorry," he said. Again. Just as sincerely. Just as uselessly.

She stared at him, waiting for an explanation that she deserved, but that he couldn't give.

Finally, after an excruciating silence, she shook her head as if he was the biggest disappointment in the world.

And right then, he felt like it.

"Me too, Josh," she said with quiet dignity. Then, without another word, she swept inside, leaving him on the patio alone.