He Sees You When You’re Sleeping: A Dark and Steamy Holiday Romance of Obsession and Secrets – Where Desire Meets Danger in the Heart of NYC

Drinks sounds perfect. I can’t wait to tell Sloane about my Christmas Eve and Christmas with Jack.

I arrive at Tonic a few minutes early, eager to see Sloane and share my news. The bar is quiet for a weeknight, with a few patrons scattered at tables. I spot Sloane in our usual spot at the bar, her copper hair gleaming under the dim lights. As I approach, I notice her brow is furrowed, and she’s fidgeting with her phone.

“Hey, you!” I slide onto the stool next to her. “How was the trip?”

Sloane looks up, her green eyes clouded with worry. “It was . . . fine. Listen, I need to tell you something important.”

My excitement deflates a bit. “Is everything okay?”

She takes a deep breath. “I just got back from the office.”

My heart skips a beat. This can’t be good. Oh god is she about to tell me my contract isn’t going to get renewed at the beginning of the year? I need this job. I really really need this job. There is no way I can afford to keep my parent’s home and pay my bills for even a month without it. I try to keep my voice steady as I ask, “What’s going on at work?”

Sloane leans in closer, lowering her voice. “I fucked up. I fucked up bad.”

My stomach drops.

“Before I left for my trip, I logged onto Dark Secrets from work. I wasn’t thinking about the ramifications of using a company computer and—” She runs her fingers through her hair. “You told me you had a secret identity on there, and I was curious. I wanted to find you.”

The blood must have drained from my face. My heart races as I process Sloane’s words.

“And,” I ask, my voice raising an octave. “Did you find me?”

She looks away, unable to meet my eyes. “I did. And frankly, you were beautiful and sexy and I didn’t think much of it. But,” she takes a deep breath, “Tyler came into my office today. He was checking in after the holiday and . . .”

I’m going to be sick. My hands start to shake, and I grip the edge of the bar to steady myself. “And what, Sloane?” I manage to choke out.

“He told me that during the holiday time off, our tech department were running an audit or doing some regular maintenance on our computers. Basically, my search history came into question. And well, Tyler was coming in to tell me that he covered for me. That he has friends with HR and he’s tight with Jasmine so even if she gets wind of it, he can soothe the waters. But . . .”

“But what?” I whisper, my heart hammering so hard I can barely hear my own voice.

Sloane takes a shaky breath. “But he saw your profile too. And he recognized a piece of Moth to the Flame jewelry—a necklace you were wearing. And he started to put it together and now suspects it’s you in those videos and pics.”

The room starts to spin. I grip the bar even tighter, my knuckles turning white. “Oh God,” I breathe. “Oh God, no.”

Sloane reaches out to touch my arm, but I flinch away. “I’m so sorry,” she says, her voice cracking. “I never meant for this to happen. I was curious, and I didn’t think—”

“You didn’t think?” I repeat, my voice hollow. “You didn’t think about the consequences? About my privacy? About my job? I signed a contract with a morality clause, Sloane! There’s no way I can walk away from this with my job still intact. Dark Secrets is a kinky sex site! I’m fucked!”

Tears well up in Sloane’s eyes. “I know. I know, and I’m so, so sorry. I told Tyler it wasn’t you. I said it was someone else I knew and well . . . we’ll deny deny, but—”

“But what?” I snap, suddenly angry. “This is Tyler we’re talking about, and there’s no way he’s stupid enough to fall for that. He’ll use this as leverage over me.”

“He doesn’t know. He might suspect—”

“Do you really believe that?”

Sloane looks away, unable to meet my gaze. “I don’t know if he believed me. He didn’t seem convinced, but he has no proof it’s you.”

I close my eyes, trying to steady my breathing. My mind races through all the possible outcomes, each one worse than the last. My career, my reputation, everything I’ve worked for—it could all come crashing down because of one stupid mistake.

I take a deep, shaky breath, trying to calm the panic rising in my chest. “Okay,” I say, more to myself than to Sloane. “Okay. We need to think this through. What exactly did Tyler say?”

Sloane fidgets with her glass, her voice low. “He said he was surprised to see your profile. He made some comments about . . . about your photos. And he said he never would have guessed you were into that kind of thing.”

My cheeks burn with humiliation. The idea of Tyler—awkward, leering Tyler—looking at my private photos and videos makes me want to crawl out of my skin.

Ugh, is he a subscriber of mine now? The idea makes me want to puke.

“I told him I gave the necklace to another friend of mine, the person whose profile it was. I tried. I swear. I never admitted it was you.”

I sigh. “But he knows.” I sigh again to try to steady my breathing. “Did he say anything about telling anyone else?” I ask, dreading the answer.

Sloane shakes her head. “He never made a threat, but . . . you know Tyler. You’re right in your thinking. He likes to have leverage over people.”

I nod, my mind racing. “We need to get ahead of this. Maybe . . . maybe I should talk to HR first? Come clean before Tyler has a chance to spread rumors?”

“I don’t know,” Sloane says, biting her lip. “That could backfire. What if they decide to fire you on the spot?”

I run my hands through my hair, feeling trapped. “You’re right. God, this is such a mess. I can’t believe this is happening.”

Sloane reaches out and squeezes my hand. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”

I want to be angry with her, but I can see the genuine remorse in her eyes. Besides, I need an ally right now. “We’ll figure this out,” I say, trying to sound more confident than I feel.

Sloane nods slowly. “He seemed . . . almost gleeful when he told me. Like he enjoyed having this secret. We need to convince him that it’s not worth the risk of raising it to Jasmine.”

“And if he threatens me?” I ask, voicing the fear that’s been gnawing at me.

Sloane’s expression hardens. “We’ll stick to the story that it’s someone else. Other than the necklace you were wearing, he can’t prove anything.”

I nod, trying to quell the nausea in my stomach.

“I’m sorry,” she repeats. “I got sloppy and didn’t think.”

I take a deep breath, steeling myself. “It’s not all your fault. I got sloppy too. I can’t believe I kept on jewelry that didn’t belong to me and . . . what was I thinking? That’s not how Moth to the Flame wants me to influence people to buy their jewelry. It’s my fault that you and Tyler were even able to make the connection between my profiles.”

Sloane nods, her eyes still filled with guilt. “Maybe, but I’m the one who accessed the site from work. I should have known better. I’m so fucking sorry.”

We sit in silence for a moment, both lost in our own thoughts. The weight of the situation hangs heavy between us.

“He may drop it,” she says as she takes a sip of her drink. “Trust what I said.”

“Maybe.” But I don’t believe it. Something tells me that Tyler knows the gold mine he’s sitting on and is going to use this information to his gain. “Let’s think this through. What’s the worst-case scenario?”

Sloane grimaces. “Tyler tells HR, and we both lose our jobs. The news spreads through the office grapevine, and suddenly everyone knows about your . . . extracurricular activities.”

I wince at the thought. “And the best-case scenario?”

“Tyler does nothing, and this all blows over,” Sloane says, but her tone suggests she doesn’t believe it either. “At least Tyler didn’t get to see you having sex or anything. It was just a little showing off.”

Picturing Tyler watching me at all makes me want to puke. “Ugh that doesn’t make me feel better. And umm . . . that’s not exactly true,” I admit, remembering my most recent video with Jack. “I may have done something . . .” I trail off, unable to finish the sentence. Sloane’s eyes widen.

“What?” she whispers. “What did you do?”

I take a deep breath. “I . . . I made a video. With Jack. On Christmas Eve.”

Sloane’s jaw drops. “You made a sex tape? With Jack! The fireman? And posted it on Dark Secrets?”

I nod, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. “It was stupid, I know. We got caught up in the moment, and it seemed exciting at the time. I never thought . . .” I release a deep breath that comes out as a groan. “I never thought Tyler would be watching. Fuck my life.”

“Oh God,” Sloane groans, putting her head in her hands. “This is worse than I thought. If Tyler saw that . . .”

“I know,” I say, my voice barely audible. “I’m so screwed.”

We sit in silence for a moment, the gravity of the situation sinking in. Finally, Sloane asks, “Wait. What happened to that online watcher dude you were talking to? The one that you hooked up with at Naughty and Nice?”

“WinterWatcher and Jack are the same person,” I answer. “I know, I know. Crazy. And that’s what I came here to tell you about.”

Sloane’s eyes widen in disbelief. “Wait, what? Jack is WinterWatcher? How did that happen?”

I take a deep breath, trying to focus on the positive memory amidst all this chaos. “It’s a long story, but basically Jack figured out that BlackAsChlo was me due to my sloppy antics and showing my face. And he reached out, and well . . . yeah, he’s the mystery man and has been all along. I discovered WinterWatcher was Jack as we were having sex and he pulled off my blindfold. It was shocking, confusing as hell, but also hot as hell. Part of me knew I should be mad, but my body exploded in happiness it was him. I always wanted Jack deep down. I wanted him to make a move. And well . . . he did. In his own way.”

Sloane shakes her head, a small smile playing on her lips despite the gravity of our situation. “That’s . . . actually kind of romantic. In a very modern, kinky way.”

I can’t suppress a smile a little too, remembering that moment. “It was. It really was. And then we spent Christmas together, and it was just . . . perfect.” My smile fades as I remember our current predicament. “And now this.”

Sloane nods, her expression turning serious again. “Maybe I can convince him it’s in his best interest to drop this all together. If he tries to accuse you, he’ll have to admit he was looking at the site too. And making an untrue accusation about you is grounds for a lawsuit. I’ll try to scare him.”

“True,” I say, feeling a glimmer of hope. “And he accessed it from work, just like you did. That could get him in trouble too.”

Sloane nods enthusiastically. “Exactly. We could use that as our own leverage.”

I take a sip of my drink, my mind racing as I notice that the snow is starting to fall. “I really should get back before it gets too ugly out there.”

“Yeah, I think we should.”

“Okay, you meet with Tyler tomorrow,” I suggest, feeling a mix of hope and determination to make this right. “Make it clear that if he exposes you, he’ll be exposing himself too.”

She reaches out and squeezes my hand. “I got us into this mess, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get us out of it.”

I shake my head. “No, I am the one who took the risk by setting up the account. This is on me. But I do appreciate your help in this.”

We step out into the snowy night, the cold air biting at my cheeks. As we say our goodbyes, I can’t shake the feeling that everything is about to change. For better or worse, tomorrow will be a turning point.

On the cab ride home, my mind races with possible scenarios. What if Tyler has already told someone? What if he demands something in exchange for his silence? Should I tell Jack about this mess? He deserves to know what’s happening, especially since he’s involved now too . . . well sort of. He and I were extra careful to keep our faces darkened in the shadows. No way could anyone make out that my mystery man was Jack. But still . . . my life could explode and maybe he should be aware in case he’s not up to flying shrapnel.