The McCain Marriage Contract

There was a thin line between life and death, one which I had treaded intermittently in lord-knows how long. At some point, I was present and then not present, and then hyper present, completely aware of my surroundings even though I was yet to fully inhabit my body again. It was in this latter state that I noticed the drastic reduction in the frequency with which my daughter, Valerie, showed up by my bedside and held my frail hands in hers. It was also in this state that I first heard her referred to as Mrs. McCain.

The name rang a bell, one that wasn't exactly joyous. A lot of memories had exited my mind as a result of my prolonged recumbence, leaving in their stead the sight and sounds of hospital equipment, shiny white coats hanging over people with worried looks on their faces, as well as the sharp pinch of the syringe as it lanced my vein to dislodge therein whatever content it bore. So I thought for a very long time about the name McCain. My memory taunted me, dangling bits of information every now and then but never enough for me to make much sense of. Soon I found myself slipping back into the non-present state, but like it is when one is fighting the raging waves to keep from drowning in an ocean, a last surge of energy propelled me back to the shore of the present, sending some of my truncated memory back with me. That was when I remembered it all, clear as day.

The McCain family: Tony, Amelia, and little Raymond McCain.

All things being equal I would be excited to discover that Valerie finally tied the knot with Raymond. Of course, I would feel hurt that I wasn't there to witness my baby girl walk down the aisle, but the blame was to be placed on ill-health. However, all things were not equal. Tony and his family left and I watched my little girl nurse her very first heartbreak, one she neither saw coming nor deserved. Then my wife, Elizabeth Jensen, died and I watched Valerie deal with a second heartbreak. I couldn't do much to save my baby girl; I was heartbroken too because what no one else knew was that I lost my Elizabeth two years before she died.

I lost her the day the McCains moved out of our old neighborhood. It was as though her soul moved with them, leaving only an empty body that was no longer content being with our family. She clearly wanted out and, sadly, death came to her rescue.

I looked around my surroundings and realized that I was in a new place. I had noticed this once before, during one of those lucid intervals as I navigated the realms of consciousness from unconsciousness. From the much my visual field afforded me, this new place seemed fancier and more expensive and I wondered who was footing the bill. Some things went beyond the confines of one's health insurance. Even though I couldn't categorically state how long I'd been hospitalized, I was sure Valerie's income alone could not be paying for all the expenses.

Was that, perhaps, why she had to rush into marriage, and with the McCains of all people? Perhaps it was a different McCain family. Perhaps I heard wrongly that other time. I really hoped I heard wrongly.

"Miss Valerie, your father has shown a significant increase in brain activity. He's conscious now, and his speech should return soon. For now, we'll keep monitoring his progress while making plans for physiotherapy." One of my doctors was telling Valerie. She was the petite Asian one that always had a reassuring smile on, and she was easily my favorite of the lot. Her statement concerning my progress made me happy but what made me happier was that she had referred to my daughter as "Miss." That meant I heard wrongly the other time.

I saw Valerie's height reduce suddenly, and I wasn't sure whether she knelt down or just slumped from excitement. She got up almost immediately and hugged all three doctors and the nurse practitioner, whispering her thanks to them. Once they left she rushed to my bedside to hug me and kiss me all over my face. I hugged her back hard and long, with the arms of my heart, unwilling to let go. My beautiful baby girl was everything to me. And she was the spitting image of her mother. I had two of my favorite people in one body.

I wanted to speak to her and ask her about everything I was assuming, just to clear things up. But first of all, I wanted to ask her how she was doing and how she was coping with my sickness. She had always been strong and resilient from a very tender age and I was grateful for her presence in my life I wanted to stretch my hands and pat her hair. I wanted to hug her like I depended on her for life as much as I did every other treatment I was getting. I felt her tears fall on my skin. I knew they were tears of gratitude but I preferred not to see my daughter cry at all.

Her phone rang suddenly and she picked it up with a frown on her face, her brows slightly furrowed. "Hello, who is this?" she asked impatiently.

Apparently, the number was strange to her but when the person responded she seemed to recognize the voice. "You got a new line, really?" she asked.

I was not sure what the response was on the other end of the line but Valerie side deeply and said, "No, I'm not with him. And I haven't forgotten the plan, of course. Did you have to get a new phone like we're some sort of spy team?" More conversation happened and then, "I'm kind of busy now, okay? We'll talk when I get home."

It sounded like there was some form of trouble she had gotten herself into and, of course, my interest was piqued. Sadly I was not in the best frame of mind or body to do anything about it so I had to wait until she volunteered whatever information it was to me. Besides, my Valerie did not hide things from me. Ours was a very transparent relationship and we both valued and respected it.

Even though I knew that in the course of recent occurrences especially with my health she may have had to make difficult decisions, I desperately hoped none of them was something very terrible, something she could not get out of easily. And more than anything else, I hoped none of them had anything to do with the McCains.