The McCain Marriage Contract

The sight of my father talking with Raymond made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and I didn't want to interrupt them. These two were the only men I had given access to my heart except that while one shattered it, the other nurtured it. Seeing them bond was beautiful and I decided to watch them from a distance - the desk my father's "stalker" usually stayed. Dad was right after all. He did have a stalker, and it was all Raymond's doing.

For some reason, I didn't feel sad or ashamed or angry that I had been found out. All I felt was peace and relief. It had been so difficult hiding my secret all this while and I was somehow glad it was all in the open now. I wasn't sure what Raymond would do with this discovery of his and quite frankly, I didn't care. If he still wanted to go ahead and end the marriage, that was fine by me. At least I still had $200,000. My only worry was my dad. I hoped he would understand why I had to do what I did.

I noticed that the conversation had turned from cute to sour. From my vantage position, I could tell they were engaging in a heated argument. I had to rush into the room.

"How dare you say a disgusting thing like that, Raymond? I want you out of this room immediately. Leave before I call security." All my life I had never seen my dad so angry and I wondered what Raymond had said to make him feel that way. "I'm sorry, Uncle J. J. but she's not who you think she is," Raymond said.

"Oh, really?" I asked. "Who then am I?"

The bickering stopped and the room grew quiet suddenly. Raymond stood up from the chair. "I have to leave." He took a few steps and then turned back. "I'm so sorry about all you've had to go through, Valerie, taking care of your dad all by yourself. But I don't think I can ever forgive you for what you did."

I was utterly confused. "I think you should come back in here and explain what you mean. Because even though we're not married for real, you owe me a shitload of explanation for the way you treated me nine years ago. And for making Dad upset in his condition."

"Hold on, the marriage is not real? What in the hell is wrong with kids of these days?" my dad groaned.

I looked at him briefly, "Not now, Dad, please." Then I turned to face Raymond squarely. "I know you have a great pair of balls down there -- I've seen them myself -- and so I need you to start talking right now. What is that very grievous sin I committed that you cannot forgive? Was it loving you? Because apparently love doesn't thrive in your family, and I also can't forgive myself for wasting my juvenile, premature demonstration of love on you."

"Yeah, Valerie. You had so much love to give it couldn't all fit into me, and so you had to give some to the next best thing. My dad, Tony McCain."

It felt like I had just been slapped hard in the face. I blinked multiple times, hoping it would somehow stop my ears from replaying the words I just heard. When I finally found my voice I asked him. "Can you say that one more time?" "It hurt me to say it the first two times, and I don't think I can manage one more." His eyes shone with tears as he spoke. "I trusted you, Vee-Jay. Hell, I loved you more than I loved myself. And you had to do that to me. Do you know what makes me sick? You pretend to have very high moral standards. Yet what did you do? You played with the little boy's heart and rode the old man's dick, at just fifteen! Damn, girl."

I was thankful I closed after Raymond walked back in to explain himself, so nobody could hear what we were saying. The most they would get was visuals.

My dad struggled to raise a hand, most likely as a signal for peace. "Language, boy. Now we all know Tony is renowned for his moral bankruptcy but you can't come in here to speak about my daughter in that manner, in a bid to justify your irresponsibility nine years ago. Have you no shame? Even if, for whatever reason, Tony sold you this load of crap, shouldn't you know better?"

Raymond sighed. "Maybe I would have if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Yes, I saw it. I wasn't told."

Dad gritted his teeth and an ocean of tears fell out of his eyes. "I want you out of this place, Raymond. And I never want to see you or any other member of your family again."

Raymond nodded. "Goes both ways, Uncle. And, Valerie, I want you out of my house as soon as possible," he said before he stormed out of the room.

Somehow I found myself seated on the floor. The earth was spinning hard and fast and my brain spun with it. I could not make head or tail of what I just heard but Raymond seemed pretty convinced about it. He said he saw me! I wasn't sure what to think any longer. I was just numb. Numb all over.

"Baby girl," I heard my dad say softly. "Come closer, darling."

I didn't know by what means I moved closer to him, but I did. And I placed my hand in his open palm. "I'm so confused, daddy," I said. My voice was barely audible and it was unrecognizable even by me.

He held my hand in his. "You know I trust you with my entire life, Valerie. I know you and I know what you're capable of. I don't know what that boy thinks he saw." Then he paused briefly. "But I need to ask you something: did Tony ever behave inappropriately towards you? I promise I'll get out of this bed and kill him myself if he did."

"I don't know," I said, still whispering. "I don't know, daddy." Truly I didn't. What if something happened a long time ago and I didn't remember? What if Raymond was right? Was this why Tony always listened to everything I said and gave me all I asked for when I was a child? I thought that was just him being a cool uncle. Was that why Amelia hated me, because she thought I was her competition? Was that why Tony was paying me really good money to marry his son -- I mean who did that?

My life truly was over. If I didn't know this before, I did now.