Chapter 5 — Valerie
The words in the contract were a little funny to me but I signed it anyway. Tony whispered in my ear, "I'll need you to sign another contract for the money, Valerie. You get $200,000 at the start of every quarter for one year. If you get pregnant I might double it." Then he gave me a mischievous wink and a sloppy peck on the forehead.
"I want the wedding to be tonight. Preferably in a private hotel room or your house. Just the three of us and a priest," I suggested. Raymond just scoffed and looked away.
"You'll need to come with J. J. as a witness," Tony suggested.
I shook my head. "I told you, not yet. I could come with a friend." The two men glared at me and I said, "I won't tell her anything, of course."
I called my former co-worker, Mavis, immediately after I left the restaurant. She sounded hurt and I understood why; Mavis wore her heart on her sleeve and I was aware of whatever she had going on, so it wasn't okay by her that she didn't get a hint that I was even dating. "This sucks, Valerie. But I'll be there."
I thanked her. "Do me another favor, please. Don't tell anyone I'm getting married. We're trying our best to avoid public scrutiny for now."
"Hold up, is he rich or something?" she asked, sounding delighted.
"You'll find out tonight," I said simply.
Mavis lent me a simple white tulle dress and a white pair of shoes and I was ready to get married. Around 7 p.m. Tony's driver picked us from Mavis's place to his mansion in Potrero Hill. The ceremony which lasted less than twenty minutes took place in Tony's exotic living room, and he discreetly slipped me my first cheque -- a whopping $200,000. It was like a dream!
I could not wait to rush back to the hospital; I had spent so much time away from my dad because of the marriage arrangements, but all of that was over. He had to get well fast, and I would be by his side every step of the way. "Just where do you think you're going?" The voice belonged to Raymond but it lacked all of the warmth and feeling I used to know it for.
I turned to face him squarely. "Not that it's any of your business, but I'm going home," I replied.
There was a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Such a coincidence. Me, too."
I grimaced. "In your dreams, perv. I'm going nowhere with you."
"I'm sure you understand what it means to be married to me. That means we live together and..." -- he came so close to me that I could feel his warm breath on my cheek -- "... we do all other married stuff together." Something in me felt warm and I immediately felt disgusted with myself. "We'll never do any married stuff. You can keep your numerous whores, I don't care," I spat.
"I don't think you know the kind of person my dad is. The optics matter to him; people have to believe that we are happily married or the deal is off. He also wants the bonus of a grandchild within the year. So that means we need to work hard and fast. But I could let you off the hook, maybe try artificial insemination or something, only if you tell me what my dad has on you."
I wanted to open my mouth and tell him every single detail but I just could not. Besides I needed to rush off to the hospital.
"Come on, Vee-Jay. This is not you. What could make you stoop this low?" he asked quietly.
"I'm glad even you consider marriage to you as stooping low. And you don't know shit about me, not anymore. Just like I don't know this version of you. We have both changed. Get over it." "You're right. But I never imagined you'd change into a gold-digging slut," he said and stormed off.
I was stung by his words. We weren't in love or anything but I didn't want him to think the worst of me. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying because it hurt that he would say such words to me. It was bad enough that I had to resort to this extent of desperation, but it was worse that I couldn't open up to anyone about it. It was all part of the shitty adulthood package -- you made decisions, and you had to deal with whatever consequences followed.
It was late already, almost 8:30 p.m. I quickly called one of my father's doctors, Dr. Reynolds, to ask how my dad was faring. He said there were no changes but there was still a need to keep hope alive. "I will provide whatever amount is needed, just give him the best treatment possible," I pleaded. "And thank you, Dr. Reynolds."
With no one looking, I left the living room and went outside the mansion. I needed a moment to breathe, a moment not tainted with Raymond's harsh words, a moment to not feel dirty or desperate, a moment to not hate myself. I thought of getting a cigarette. I had never smoked one but maybe this was the perfect time to begin.
I didn't notice Raymond walk up to me but when he spoke I willed the ground to swallow me. "Whatever you do, I must find you in my bed tonight." Then he stormed off again.
Why did he have to sound so crude, so unkind? Agreed, what I was doing was incomprehensible to every other person, but had he completely forgotten how we used to be? We were in love! We were inseparable. We completed each other. Even if all those feelings were long gone, he didn't have to talk to me like one of his whores.
And I couldn't be in his bed this night or any other night, because sex was a big deal to me. While part of me wanted him to touch every bit of my body, to continue from where he stopped years ago, part of me knew that was messed up. I couldn't sleep with just anyone; I had to have a great deal of affection for them. That was why I'd never had sex.
Yep, I was a freaking virgin!
Raymond McCain was about to experience the shock of his life.