What Lies Beneath

Landon.

It was not enough.

If I were a better liar, I'd be able to convince myself that it hadn't happened until then. Until I'd awoke to find her in my arms. But no. It hadn't happened then.

Something in me had decided that she belonged to me far before my head figured it out. That was all this instance did. Made it clear. Though I knew now the true moment of change. My mind threw up ugly pictures of the night she'd gotten hurt. I saw the fear in her eyes and the rage in that man's. I hadn't thought of anything but ending him. And I had. If it had been different times, I would have played with him more. But Mila had been hurt. I'd needed to get her somewhere safe.

But the cursed thing about this, her belonging to me, was that it didn't matter. I wasn't keeping her. She'd let me off my leash, and I needed to take the offer. It was what was best for her. For me. I didn't know how to be anything but alone. I couldn't drag her into that.

For now, she was mine. Mine to protect, to hold, mine to drink from. I wished I'd asked her why she'd been so upset when I told her I was leaving to feed. So upset that she'd offered up her blood to me. I hadn't thought she'd noticed my eagerness to take the offer. She hadn't seemed to notice at all that I'd picked the second most intimate spot on her body to feed from. I could have easily taken blood from her arm. Wrist. No, I went for her neck. The only thing that could have been better was her thigh. I doubt she would have gone for that one.

Then she squirmed in her sleep and pressed closer to me. Hmm. I chose to think that it was her subconsciously wanting to be beside me. It had been so long since I cared about another person, I almost didn't know how to do it. I certainly didn't know how to do it right. I'm glad I didn't. Because then, I would be stupid enough to believe that I had a right to try and keep her.

She was in here because she was feeling vulnerable. I shouldn't read more into that. She'd given me something from her body, and it had left her feeling weaker. In need of some comfort. Sadly, the right person wasn't here for her. Mila made a quiet and sleepy sound. She blinked twice before her eyes were fully open. They were on my chest, then they moved up. She looked a little scared. Of me, maybe. She sat up, and the strap on her shoulder fell down. I didn't fix it this time.

I was the first to speak. "Did something happen last night?"

"Huh?"

"There has to be a reason you're in my bed." I didn't let myself get caught up in the reasons I was hoping for.

"S-sorry. I, um..." She looked forward. "I just didn't want to be alone."

She'd sought comfort in me because she had no one else. I suppose I could accept that. "Why didn't you wake me up? I could have talked to you."

"I just wanted to sleep."

She didn't make a move to get out of my bed, and that was very dangerous for her. So easily, I could have her on her back. Easier still to get her legs around me. I couldn't help but wonder if she would like that. When she'd kissed me, it had been to hide. A move made from panic and lack of a proper plan. I'd been the one who'd escalated it. I hadn't even known what I'd been doing at first. I'd just needed more of her. But she'd made those sounds all on her own. Her skin warmed against me. That had to mean something. And I was enough of a bastard to hope it did.

"Do you need anything?" I asked.

She left my bed, and I wanted to pull her right back into it. She stood with her back against the wall and her gaze on the ceiling. "I should go shower. I'm sorry for..."

With the light flush in her cheeks, she looked increasingly appealing. Oh, the things I could do to her. I wanted to hold her against the wall, crushing myself against her. I wanted her fingers in my hair and my mouth on hers, tasting her again. I should have never let her move off me on that bench. I should have picked her up and laid her out, any damn place I could find. Not let her up until she screamed under me. Until she was happily panting for breath and unable to form a coherent thought. Her unfocused eyes on me, full of adoration and a hundred other things I didn't deserve.

How unnerving this feeling is. Wanting something like this. Not only wanting something. Wanting someone. A living, breathing girl. Warm and clever. Stunning and capable. What would she want with me?

I sat up and thought about my options. I could stay in this bed, covered by the blanket on me. I could let her go and shower. Never bring this up again. Or, I could play dirty in a game I knew I couldn't win. I chose wrong.

I stood up and left the blanket on the bed. I was only in my boxer-briefs, but it was enough to make her heart beat faster. That could be- and probably was just human hormones, pure and simple. I was a mostly naked man, and I was one that had shared more than a couple intimate moments with her. It was perfectly reasonable that she would react like this. Then there was the other part of my brain. The one that was telling me that she wanted me. That she would be inviting if I wandered over to her. If I held her to the wall and took my claim on her.

I didn't move. "Don't be sorry."

She seemed taken aback. "Why?"

"No harm done."

I left then, before I could do something I regretted. I wasn't sure when that regret would come around, but it would.

Once I was in the bathroom, I locked the door.

Mila trusted me far too much. That was the killer. I'd seen it when I was on top of her. More than that, I'd felt it when she was telling me about her parents. This was why I didn't want to know about her. Knowing was a dangerous thing. Now, I wouldn't forget this girl. When I left, thoughts of her would linger because she was real to me now. Her picture would burn in my head. Long enough to ruin me.